notsafeforwork | Call Me Out v. NSFW

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call me out

Call Me Out v. NSFW

You probably know the drill. Reply with a thread starter and a character in the title, receive NSFW thread. Current muselist!

I'd do fancy code but tbh I am willing to put up too many of those characters to post pictures. Just don't pick the kids and we're good.

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[ Mutter. ] I wouldn't have, anyway.

[ He flinches when her hands brush against his skin. Satanick normally wears gloves, at least at first, and he hadn't realized until now that Satanica's hands were bare. It shouldn't matter, but it does, somehow. ]

Well. I hope you're quite satisfied with how ridiculous you've made me look.

[ That dress looks pretty damn good on him, actually. But don't tell him that. ]

[What's that, bracket text? Don't tell him something?]

No, no, you're really cute in that~ It looks good on you! You should wear dresses more often, you have the figure for it.

[ It... what? It looks good?

Valmont suddenly finds himself experiencing intense internal conflict. On the one hand, it's a dress, and it's Satanick. On the other hand, it goes against his every instinct to argue a compliment paid to his appearance, even in circumstances as humiliating and uncomfortable as these. On the third hand... no, don't let's start thinking about unusual numbers of hands, shall we. ]

...I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm a man. I haven't got the intended figure for any sort of a dress.

[ Conveniently, this isn't a denial of anything else she'd said. ]

Yes, yes, I know, but some men look terrible in dresses.

Now, I believe we were going to have tea and talk about our feelings?

[She waves her hand and there's a table, with teacups and a pot of warm tea. Have a seat.]

Oh, for god's -

[ ...Wait. That's tea. That is proper tea, not the cheap American stuff he's been forced to subsist on for months now. Actual, real tea.

Damn it. ]

I doubt we'll have much to talk about. I believe I've made my feelings on this situation quite clear.

[ But he takes a seat anyway. ]

I love it when you're agreeable.

[She'll even pour them both cups of actual fancy tea before having a seat herself, humming cheerfully.]

[ He pulls the nearer cup toward himself hastily, as though Satanica might take the opportunity to slip something into it were he to let it sit unattended for too long. This is silly, of course, because if the demon had wanted to tamper with his tea she would have already done so.

Come to think of it, he realizes he has no idea what exactly this particular tea might be made of.

...He tries not to think of it. ]

Agreeability has nothing to do with it. The sooner I comply with your ridiculous demands, the sooner this pointless charade will be over.

[ Hopefully. ]

That's agreeable enough to me.

[She sips her tea almost delicately. Her manners can be impeccable when she feels like it.]

So then, feelings, hmmm~ Oh, I know! What do you think about me?

[As though there were anyone else she would ask about first.]

[ He takes a sip of his own tea, very cautiously, just in case. It doesn't taste like eye of newt or anything, though, so he takes another. It's actually good. Who knew? ]

I think you're awful.

[ Really, does she even have to ask at this point. ]

[She laughs, not seeing put out at all.]

Is that it? I'd like a short essay or at least half a minute of how awful you think I am.

Why bother? I'm sure these are all things you know very well already.

[ But he begins to tick them off on his fingers. ]

You have no sense of timing or decorum. You think you can just do whatever you want without paying any respect to what I want. You do terrible and humiliating things to me like - like this -

[ He gestures down at the dress he's been trying to pretend he's not wearing. Yup, still there. Damn it. ]

- and you won't leave me alone! And that's not even getting into all the sex -

[ Please don't make him get into all the sex. ]

Please do get into all the sex, I'd like to hear it.

[She's restraining her giggles for now, even. Isn't she so polite?]

[ Sigh. Why did he even bring it up. ]

It's utterly demeaning, is what it is! You never pay any attention to whether I want it, which I never do, or whether it's a convenient time for me, which it never is, and you're always so annoyingly eager about it, and - and - I don't like it and I don't like you!

[ Status: told. ]

I see, so, Val-kins likes tsunderes who won't admit what they want, right? Just like himself.

But you know, I'm not that kind of girl! You're just going to have to deal.

...What in the world is a tsundere.

[ His pronunciation of the word is deplorable. ]

Traditionally, it's someone who can't be honest with their feelings, like a person who says they hate you when they really like you.

Also you're saying it wrong.

I'm saying it exactly the way you did. Sun-dairy.

[ Nope, still just as bad the second time. Possibly worse. ]

And I'm not at all sure how that concept applies to me, given that I actually do hate you. Immensely.

Of course you do! But you like the sex.

[At least Satanica's agreeing with him on one part...?]

No, I've just said I don't like it, haven't you been listening?

[ Honestly, some people's attention spans. ]

I have been listening! But I was there, so I know you liked it and are just ly~ing~

The fact that you were there is precisely the issue. My life would be a great deal easier if you were to cease being there.

[ Grump grump grump. ]

Aww, but it would be so booooo~ring~~~

[It's not like being an internationally wanted criminal provides any excitement.]

[ Well, it doesn't as much, these days. Without the resources to do anything about it should one be caught, it turns out it's a lot smarter to keep one's head down. It's been a while since he's stolen anything more substantial than wi-fi. So yeah, Satanick probably is the most interesting thing in his life right now.

That's depressing. ]

I think boredom would be preferable to your particular brand of excitement.

You're so mean~ You'd waste away and die of ennui if you didn't have me around.

I'd take my chances.

[ Ice cold. ]

A decent hostess would have provided scones or something, by the way. But given that it's you, I suppose common courtesy is rather too much to be expected.

[ He's not even that hungry. He's just looking for excuses to whine. This jerk. ]

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